Basterd Natalie
by frankenfeels
Summary: The Basterds take a woman captured, after blowing up a truck with her in it with two Nazis.
1. Chapter 1

She was tied up, her hands behind her back bonded with rough rope. Her eyes were closed—no, can't lie to you—her eyes were only slightly open. Open enough to see light and light distortion, but closed enough to give the illusion that she was still passed out.

She heard slightly heavy footsteps pass her. She waited. The person came back a few minutes later. She waited again. The person walked by again. However, he didn't come back after the few minutes. She heard a series of voices. Men voices.

"Do we kill her?" an American voice inquired.

"Naw", a voice said. He sounded like he was from the Rocky Mountain area.

_Oh, well, that's sweet_, the woman thought.

"We'll _keeee_ll later if she doesn't offa any information." The men laughed.

_What? _The woman almost stood up and yelled at the men, but remained on the ground and then thought, _Well, truth be told, I would do the same._

"I'm surprised she survived the explosion. Her friends dedn't", said an Austrian voice.

The woman sighed; she was going to escape. How, she did not know yet. She'll figure that out as she goes. She heard the man walk back over, his commanding officer most likely told him to stop socializing and to guard the prisoner. He walked over to the side where she was going to escape. She could see it now. They were in a clearing in the woods. Trees all around them. The side where she was going to escape had a fallen tree that had enough room beneath it to allow her to slide under. She would wait for the man to return back to his comrades and then she would jump up, and, escape, bullet-free.

The man slowly walked back to his friends. The woman jumped, ran towards the fallen tree, and easily slid under the tree, making a mud mark on her pants. She heard shouting and shooting behind her. She laughed. She jumped over her bound hands so that they were in fount of her. She smiled until she saw a dark man, carrying a bloody baseball bat, walking towards her, not really to her, but in her general direction. It looked like he had no idea what was going on until he saw his comrades running towards him, their arms in the air. That's when he saw the black haired woman.

He threw his right arm out, as to punch her, to stop her. She ducked. He had a face of surprise when she slung her hands over his head and placed the rope firmly on his neck, like she was going to strangle him. She was behind him, tilting him back to reach him and to see over his heavy shoulders.

The group of men, seeing that their comrade had been taken hostage, stopped and placed their arms by their sides. The leader, the woman supposed, pushed through the group of men. He was a tall, lean man, with a thin brown moustache, and a brown pompadour. He had a rather large scar on the base of his neck that looked like he attempted to cover up with a dull blue scarf and an old brown leather jacket. He narrowed his hazel eyes to the woman.

"Now, let's not be rash", he was the one with the Rocky Mountain accent. "Let go of ol' Donny and you can be on your merry way."

"You're honestly not going to let her go, sir?" the hostage said, his Boston accent creeping into his words.

"Shut up, Donny", the man said curtly, "I'm trying to negotiate."

"Oh, you're in no position to negotiate", the woman said, in a mixture of accents, she then motioned to herself. "I'm the one holding all the cards."

"Okay, I'm not in a position to negotiate, but am I in a position to suggest?"

"Shut up."

"Sir, I'm in a position to die, could you hurry this shit up?" the hostage said. His eyes were bulging out of his head as the woman walked back a few inches.

"You shut up too", the woman said to the hostage, her mouth only a few inches away from the man's ear.

"Now, Lady, if you think that you can escape here, alive, you're kidding yourself", the Leader said, flashing a cocky smirk.

"Oh, please", the woman rolled her eyes, "I've escaped situations more dangerous and less to bargain with than this. This is nuttin'!"

"Try", the leader said, walking forward, prompting the woman to go back. "I dare ya."

He was right, and she knew it, although she would never admit that. She would have to run south, but her target was in the northern direction. The woman sighed and set her jaw, "Let's talk."

The leader flashed a smile. "Let go of Donowitz first."

"This guy?" the woman motioned to her hostage.

"Yeah."

"No", she said simply. "What I said still goes, until I say so."

"Fine, keep Donny."

"Alright." The woman flashed her eyes to Donny. "Who are you?"

"You don't know who we are?" the Leader asked the woman, his ego bruised.

The woman smiled and rolled her eyes, "Sorry, haven't been out much, I've been _sooooo _busy lately. Now, as I was saying, who are you?"

"We're the Basterds."

The woman narrowed her eyes toward the leader, "I think I've vaguely heard of you. Rand, right?"

"Raine, actually, m'am."

"So sorry", the woman said. "This must be the 'Bear Jew', right?"

"Yes", Donny said, his fingers inching his way to the rope, "Now, will you please let me go?"

"Let the grown-ups talk, Donny", the woman said to Donny, in a teasing voice, "And I'll consider letting you go."

"Now, who are you?" Raine asked the woman.

"Me? I'm called many things by the Nazis. The Bitch, The Witch, La Chica, The Ghost, or simply, Assassin."

"You got a name, don't cha?" Raine asked the woman.

"Uh, let's go with….um…Natalie", the woman said. "Natalie."

"Well, Natalie, if that's your real name"—

"It's not", Natalie said, interrupting Raine.

"—Would you mind letting Donny go?"

Natalie wasn't a fool; far from it, but she had a feeling she could trust him. "Will you promise not to attack me?"

"I promise", Raine said, holding his hands up.

"On your mother's grave?"

"Yes! On his father's, sister's, aunt's, and uncle's fuckin' grave! Just lemme go!" Donny shouted.

"Fine", Natalie released Donny. He walked towards his group, rubbing his neck as he went. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way." Natalie started northward.

"Where ya going?" Raine asked her, walking towards her.

Natalie looked him straight in the face and told him, in a monotone voice, "Classified."

"We just let you go. That warrants some info."

"I'm on a tight schedule", Natalie continued walking and started smiling. She then threw her hand in the air to say goodbye. "Can't stop to have tea with you ladies", Natalie suddenly felt a pain surging through her chest. "Oh." She grabbed her chest. "Ow, ow, ow." She sat down on the leafy ground.

The Basterds come running up behind her. "Are you hurt?" a young, boyish American voice asked.

"Oh no, getting blown up doesn't hurt at all", the woman said to the lad, venom in her tone. She put her head to the ground, her teeth clenched, and her eyes closed, trying to push the pain away. "Pain is just a figment of the imagination", she mumbled quietly to herself. "Just a trick of the mind."

She felt arms roughly grab her by the shoulders. They pulled her up and started their way back to their camp. "You can't go anywhere before you're treated", Raine said. "Hate to find a woman like you dead a few miles ahead."

Natalie looked up to catch a glimpse of her handler. He was a German looking man; obviously he had had a hard life, with chopped brown hair and a rough face. "Easy, easy", the woman said to him. "I'm not a sack of potatoes."

The man brought her to a foldable chair, which she sat on, next to a foldable wooden table with a first-aid kit. She glanced around. Raine came over towards her. "Raine?"

"Yeah?"

"Did your men find a black sort of safe in the wreckage?"

"Yeah."

"Good, may I have it? It has my spare clothes in there." The man, who carried her, dropped her box in fount of her. "Thank you—? God, I don't even know your name, how terribly embarrassing."

"His name is Hugo Stiglitz", Raine said. "Doesn't talk too much."

"Stiglitz?" the woman crinkled her brows in thought. She spoke to Stiglitz, "Aren't you the guy who killed those SS officers?"

Stiglitz nodded his head slowly.

"I was a fan of yours for a few days and then I got shot." She moved her eyes toward the sky. "And then I completely forgot about you until now."

Stiglitz nodded his head slowly, again.

The woman sat on the ground and put in the combination. It clicked open. Natalie pulled out a bar of soup, a towel, a lump of white—most likely her undergarments, Raine thought—a pair of black Chuck Taylor's, jeans, a white wife beater, a dull blue button up, and a gray suit's coat. "Isn't there a river west of here?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks" she stood up with her clothes in her arms. "Oh yeah, there's three chocolate bars, a couple of comic books, a case of cigarettes, a bottle of vodka, and a bottle of wine in there. Knock yourself out; just leave a pack of cigarettes for me." She walked away towards the river. She heard him call to his men about her gifts.


	2. Chapter 2

She came back twenty minutes later. Her black hair still wet and her dirty clothes in hand. She went back to her safe to see what was left of her items. As promised, a pack of cigarettes was left in the safe. She threw her clothes into the safe and closed it. She placed her cigarettes into her coat pocket. Donny came up to her with the first aid kit in hand.

"Lieutenant said I'd better patch you up."

Natalie rolled her eyes, "Let's get this over with."

Donny motioned to Natalie to show him where she was hurt. She took off her shirts, leaving her only clad in her white bra, and pointed to her shoulder, red.

The woman was pale in a tanned way. She was naturally tan, but was pale in the sense of her skin color. She had neck length black hair that she had to sweep to the side to allow Donny to treat her shoulder. She had chocolate brown eyes that were exploring the trees while Donny padded the cloth on her wound. It stung, but she made no motion of the pain. It was easily, the least painful thing that happened to her all week.

A few awkward moments went by before the woman spoke. "Sorry about talking in your ear", Natalie said to Donny. "I hate when people do that."

Donny nodded his head in forgiveness, and then said, "Is there anything else you'd like to apologize for?"

"Nope", she said briskly.

Donny pressed the rag to her wound a little hard, to torture her. "Did that hurt?" He wanted it to hurt.

She laughed, "Definitely not as much as giving birth." Donny frowned as he dabbed the cloth on her wound. The boy who asked Natalie if she was hurt walked up to her, his eyes slipping down to her chest. "My eyes are up here", the woman said pointing to her eyes.

He was a small man—a man-boy really—, with wide brown eyes, like an owl, and dark brown hair and fair skin. "Sorry, just wanted to tell you thanks for the comics." He shrugged and peered at the ground. "Can never get Superman out here."

"It's no problem", the woman said.

"Name's Private Utivich, by the way", he extended his hand out to her.

"Charmed", she gently grabbed his hand and shook it.

A man ran up from behind Utivich. "The Lieutenant would like to see the woman", he said in an Austrian accent.

"Love to", the woman said as Donny started to wrap her shoulder up, "but, I really should be going. I've lost enough time, as it is."

"He's not askin', he's orderin'", the Austrian man said sternly.

"Even so, I still ain't going", the woman said, leaning forward. Her worldly accent disappeared and, in its place, was a Brooklyn accent. "He isn't my commanding officer, so he can kiss my ass!" The woman sat back in the chair as Donny struggled to finish wrapping. "Go tell him I said that."

"Please, miss, go and talk to him. He may help you on whatever it is you're doing", Utivich said in a pleading voice.

The woman sighed, "Fine, for you, dear Utivich, but there's no way in hell I'm calling him 'sir'". She muttered some Italian curses under her breath before she looked at Donny. "Finished yet, Donny?" her worldly accent returned.

He loved the way she said his name. She said the first syllable, "Don", separately, and seemed to elongate the second syllable, "ny", for what seemed like hours. He transformed his face into a hateful look and said, with each word dripping in acid, "If you stop moving, I would."

"Listen darling", the woman said, pointing her free hand at him. "I was just asking, so I don't need your smart remark. But, I'd hate for you to be mad at me, dear, so sorry." The woman used those words loosely, "darling" and "dear", but, to Donny, they still carried the full weight.

Donny tied off the wrapping, "There—all finished."

"Thank you so very much", the woman stood up and put her wife beater and button up shirt back on—except leaving the shirt unbuttoned—,and then tilted her head at the Austrian. "I don't believe we've met", she held out her right hand to the Austrian. "My name is Natalie."

The Austrian tenderly grasped her hand and bent over to kiss it. "My name is Wilhelm Wikison."

"It's such a pleasure to meet you, Wiki", Natalie placed her arms down by her side. "I would curtsey, but not being in a ball gown and all, I would look like a complete idiot."

"You? Never", Wiki told her.

"No flattery please", the woman said, "I haven't eaten in days and I'm afraid that I might puke my stomach acid up instead." All three of the men's faces turned into disgust and Natalie started laughing. "Where's Raine?" she said, between bouts of laughs.

"He's in his tent", Wiki pointed to a muddy tent at the end of the row of tents. "Very last one."

Natalie pointed and smiled at Wiki, "Thanks." She walked towards Raine's tent, with her coat in her hand.


	3. Chapter 3

"Um", Natalie strutted out, her hand curled up in a fist that was meant to knock on his door, "I'm here."

"C'mon in, darling", his voice sang from inside.

Natalie crinkled her nose and brows, lifted the tent flap, and entered Lt. Raine's tent. She found him standing behind a wooden, foldable table with two empty glass cups in his hand and, in fount of him on the table, was her wine and a lighted candle.

"Sit", he commanded.

"You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, Lt. Raine", Natalie said, placing her coat on the chair and then sat down.

"Wine?" Raine lifted the wine bottle, a smug smile plastered on his face.

"Yes, please." Raine popped opened the wine and filled a glass, halfway, with red wine. He laid it in fount of her. "'71 was a very good year", Natalie placed her hands together and leaned her head against them. "That was the year Rome was named the capital of a newly unified Italy." The woman paused and then asked Raine, "Have you ever been to Italy, Lt. Raine?"

Raine placed the bottle down on the table and then sat down. "No", he said briskly.

"It's a marvelous place"—Natalie took a sip of wine—"even with Mussolini fucking up the place. Hm…definitely a very good year", she tapped the glass. "This was the first bottle of wine my great-great grandfather produced after he helped the king, Victor Emmanuel II, unify Italy."

"So I assume your great-great grandfather was in the same business as you?" Raine poured Natalie more wine.

"And what business would that be—Lt. Raine?" Natalie drank her wine.

He took a sip of wine to think, "Well, the business of killing."

Natalie chuckled and placed her almost empty glass of wine on the table, "And like yours, business is a-booming." Natalie glanced at Raine and said, in an English accent, "Did I get that right?"

Raine poured Natalie more wine, "Yes, you did."

"I heard one of your survivors recounting his story to an SS officer when I was captured, once. I wasn't supposed to eavesdrop, but I was bored. I wanted to wait for him to leave before I killed everyone and escaped. He had a huge swastika on his forehead and I didn't wanna make his day any worse", she shrugged and fixed her position in the chair. She laid her back against the wooden pole that was holding the tent up and had her legs crossed. "Every time, I tell people the story, they give me a shocked look. I remember Donna Reed asked me how we were fighting the Nazis and so, as an example, I told her the story", Natalie smiled, and "It looked like she was going to throw up by the end of it. I was very detailed."

"If you don't mind, m'am, let's get down to politics."

"'I tell you Folks, all politics is Apple Sauce!'" Natalie said in a deep voice while swooshing her glass of wine around while Raine looked at her. "Will Rogers", she said in her normal register, peering at him. "I may be a bit soused. I haven't eaten anything in days. When I start quoting the Marx Brothers, go away."

"How do you know you're drunk?"

"When I start quoting, when's its completely unnecessary, if I had a little too much juice. 'Quote, unquote, quote' ", the woman raised her hand in surprise, "Whoops, it starting, I'd run away if I was you."

"Not until I ask you some questions."

" 'I keep six honest serving men—they taught me all I know: their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who' ".

"First man then, what's your mission?"

Natalie raised her eyebrows. "Did I give you permission?"

"Tell me or I'll kill you."

Natalie sat back in the chair the correct way and pulled out her carton of cigarettes, "Do you mind if I smoke?"

"Nope."

" 'I can resist everything except temptation.' " She pulled a long, slender, white cigarette out of the carton, placed the pack back in her coat, and found a small box of matches in the same pocket. "Hm, Edward's matches", she smiled and drew one out of the box. She struck the match's head against her thumb and lit her cigarette. The air was still as it was overcome with the smell of cigarette smoke. Natalie leaned forward and placed her elbows on the table, the wine glass in her right hand with the cigarette in her left. "You know, I was saving this wine for when the war was over"—she was pointing to the wine.

Raine had a blank, bored expression on his face.

—"Or for occasions like these." Natalie got up and started walking around his tent, peeking into and under his things, her brows knotted together in thought. "Raine", she started, her back to him. "I won't be able to tell you everything, but I can tell you where we're going." She placed her glass of wine on a box, her height.

"What makes you think that we're going with ya?" Raine leaned back in his chair, his arms folded across his chest.

Natalie quickly turned to Raine and pointed to him with her shaking index finger, "You killed my cousins!" Natalie slapped her mouth with her hand, in shock. Her eyes were as wide as the moon, and they were as dead as the moon too.

"So, you're a Nat-zee?" Raine said pulling a knife from his pants pocket.

"No, I'm not", Natalie backed into a corner, with her hands raised in defense. "I can explain."

"Yeah, explain with your scalp off."

Natalie stood firm, looking at Raine straight in the eye. "Do it then." She pulled bangs and then said, "If you really think that I'm a Nazi, scalp me, skin me, hang me up, and dry me in the sun. Make me your wallet! Do it!" She pulled her bangs harder and then loosened a bit, "Just try not to get blood in my hair. It makes my hair greasy."

Raine took a step towards Natalie, their bodies touching, she had to look up to continue to look him in the eye. He grabbed the back of her head, a fistful of her thick hair in his hand, pulling her head back. She let go of her bangs and placed her arm at her side, he mouth was gaping open at him, waiting for him either to scalp her or kiss her.

He kissed her.

Somewhere, someone falls down the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

In the country of France, there are many rivers. Many seem to split off at a certain point, with one the way of flat farmlands and the other, the daring one, seeming to go up into the mountains, hiking up them like stairs, or trailing the rolling hills that seem to plague the French families' livelihoods.

The good nineteenth century poet, Henri De Bornier, said, about France, although one could argue that Germany took this quote a little too seriously, that "every man has two countries, his own and France." Now, amidst the ruins and troubles of the Second World War, every man still has two countries, his own and France. He's fighting for France, because when one does see France, they see everything that they believe is beautiful in their country, literally. All the unseen beauty in their country seems to be seen in France. That just makes them fight twice as hard as before because they see the Nazis raping their "country".

Hence, the reason why the Germans were fine with the British declaring war on them in World War I, and why the Allies landed on Normandy. France is gorgeous, and yes, the people are kind of dicks, but beauty "provoketh thieves sooner than gold."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey! This isn't important or anything, but, this afternoon, whilst writing this chapter, I was watching "Golden Girls" and Quentin Tarantino was on it as an Elvis impersonator! **

**And, later, when all of the Elvis impersonators started singing and dancing, Tarantino was the most into it. **

**I think it's funny.**

* * *

The woman stirred. The roughness of the earth woke her up. She was under a brown, coarse, wool blanket and was in a tent she wasn't entirely familiar with. "Hmph", she laid her hands on top of the blanket. She started to drum her long fingers, trying to recall the events of last night. The last thing she clearly remembered was telling Lt. Raine that she wouldn't be able to tell him everything. After that, it turned hazy.

The woman sucked her teeth at the problem. She shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes to sleep again. Something moved on her stomach. Her eyes widened in fear and at her stupidity for not noticing it at the beginning. She lifted the blanket and saw a hairy arm across her stomach. Her mouth was open in horror as she trailed the arm to the body.

It was Lt. Aldo Raine.

Natalie breathed in slowly as she eased out from under his arm and into the cool air. She got goose bumps as she searched for her clothes. She had all her clothes on, with her coat in her hand, but was still missing her shirt when she heard Raine waking up behind her.

"Hey, darlin'".

Natalie froze.

"Where you goin'?"

"Uh", Natalie turned her head to peek at Raine. "I gotta go." She pointed at Raine, "I have that mission."

"What is this mission?"

"Something that has a fixed schedule, which is breaking every moment I waste and it certainly will take me a long time to complete."

"We can help with our full and undivided attention."

"Don't say that!" she snapped at Raine. "It makes me feel like a floozy. I've been very proud of myself that I haven't slept with anyone", she nodded her head.

"It didn't seem like that last night", he gave a cocky smirk while sitting up.

"Shut up", she pointed at him. "Now, as I said before, I'm going." She turned to leave.

"Please, Natalie, don't go", Raine said in a pleading voice. "I won't mention anything about you bein' a floozay."

Natalie sighed and turned her head to glance at Raine. "Fine", she said, Natalie walked over to the table and picked up one of the chairs that was knocked over last night during the struggle. Natalie sat down and acted like she was going to say something, but didn't, and then tried again, successfully, "I feel like I said something last night while drinking wine; what did I say?"

"Besides admitting you're a Nat-zee?"

"Oh", Natalie's mouth and raised eyebrows showcased her surprise and embarrassment. "Well, I'm not"—

"You also said that last night, too."

"Why do you think I'm a Nazi?"

"You said that the two Nat-zees we blew up yesterday were your cousins."

"Well, that's half true. They're my cousins, but they aren't Nazis. Well, they're Nazi officers, but they're really not."

"Do you mean spies?"

"Yes, yes, like Pinky and Chicolini", Natalie nodded and then added, "Except better."

"Is that the business you're also in?"

Natalie shook her head slowly, "Not really. That side of the family has lived in Germany for quite a long time and are a much respected family. I'd only be considered a spy if my target was in the entertainment business because my alias is in the entertainment business." Natalie looked like she thought of something important to ask Raine, "Do you know who I actually am?"

"As I said yesterday, no."

The woman was very surprised. "I'm astonished that you don't know who I am. Actually quite relieved. I'm very famous, if you don't know. Been in the entertainment newspapers since '36 and I was the lead in a movie once. Also surprised that none of your men know who I am. You take Private Utivich for example; looks like he's seen all the movies."

"What're you getting at?" Raine tilted his head back, but still looked at Natalie.

"Nothing, nothing", Natalie said coming out of her haze. "I'll tell you in ten years or so. But the mission! The mission! I'm going to tell you the mission!"

"Okay."


	6. Chapter 6

"About an hundred miles from here is the village of Lavone, which is controlled by the Nazis. Got that?" she asked Raine. She didn't wait for a respond, but she continued, "Good. Now about five miles outside of Lavone, is a factory that is also controlled by the Nazis. There, POWs are building automobiles, tanks, aircraft, and weaponry." She paused and flicked her fingers out to show three, "This factory is the third largest weapon manufacturer in France", the woman struggled a bit with the next parts, "They're the…second?...yes, second largest tank maker, and the fourth largest aircraft maker." She punched her hand with her fist. "If we blow this factory up, the Nazi's supplies will go down."

She cleared her throat to calm herself down. "After the factory is blown up, and long after the Nazis are killed in Lavone, we need to drive the…", the woman paused to think and then said, "the hundred, hundred fifty POWs to the underground town of Mimieux on the French channel, which is another hundred miles from Lavone. After that, they'll stay at the town or get shipped to England, not completely sure on that."

"Is this a suicide mission?" Raine asked, still under the blanket, with his arms folded across his chest.

"It shouldn't be considering that it's my last mission in Europe."

"Going home?"

Natalie noticed a little left of the wine, "Nope", she drinks some of it, "Getting shipped to the Pacific, after this and I'm very scared. Uncertain and fearful. I'm fearful of the uncertainty and I'm uncertain of the fear."

"Well, you've been fighting in the European campaign for some time, what's so different about the Pacific."

Natalie laughed, "Obviously, you've never been there." She finishes the wine. "Japanese are fucking crazy."

"Probably not any more than Germans."

Natalie raised her eyebrows in disbelief at Raine, "You honestly believe that?"

"I wouldn't know. I've never been to the Pacific."

Natalie said this next part in one breath and in a hushed, rushed tone, and with lots of hand movements, "The Japanese high command tells their soldiers, that instead of getting captured, they should kill themselves rather than surrender 'cause it'll disgrace them, their family, and the homeland. That's crazy!" Second time, same as the first, "I was at Guadalcanal, and toward the end of the six month battle, Japanese soldiers—not sure whether they were even of the same squad—came out of the jungle, and charged at each, with the most senior officer leading them with a sword. And some of them didn't even have guns; sticks, grenades, whatever. They killed a few of our men before we killed them, but it was a fucking massacre!"

"That's fucking insane", Raine said, shocked.

"And they make you Basterds look like pussies."

"How?"

"So they take a POW and put him in the middle of a forest and they lay him up on the ground, his hands and feet tied to the ground. But, before they did that! They planted a bamboo plant under, about six inches under, the guy. Bamboo is a very strong, very fast growing plant. It grows about three inches an hour and the Japanese has sharpened the tip of the bamboo plant. So about two and a half hours in, with the guy lying in this sweltering heat, he feels a slight stab at his back. And it hurts, like a knife. Half an hour later, it digs into the guy more. A few hours later, it's right through the guy and he's laying there in agony and pain. At least, you guys do quick and painless torture or psychological torture. You're much nicer than the Japanese."

"God damn"…

Natalie stood up, "So, are you going to help me or what?"

Raine, speechless, blinked his eyes, "Y—Yeah, of course."

"Thanks", Natalie makes a move to the door. "Oh yes, Lt. Raine?"

"Yeah?"

"When I tell the men what's going on—with the mission, not us, which was a mistake and you're keeping your mouth shut on it—give it a little resistance. Banter me, tell me to fuck off, but finally give in. And do the same while on the mission. That okay?"

"Sounds good."

"You can get dressed now", Natalie said while exiting his tent.


	7. Chapter 7

The woman left Raine's tent. She was blinded by the early morning's light. It was about eight in the morning. "Ugh. My head is killing me." She walked, more like stumbling, along the rows of tent, trailing her fingers alongside. She started humming Sousa's "With Pleasure" when she ran into someone. "Oh", she stopped humming and took a step back to see who she ran into.

It was Donny.

He was wearing a white wife beater, with brown pants that was being held up by brown suspenders. He had a rather large smirk on his face, showing that he was glad to have her run into him. He had his hair combed and done and it smelled like he had just taken a bath.

"I am so sorry, Donny, for causing you physical, emotional, and/or mental harm that may have happened as a result of me bumping into you. I hope that one day you can forgive me for this error, but 'to err is human, to forgive divine.'"

"Are you okay? You seem a bit off", Donny chuckled and grabbed Natalie by her arm, to balance herself.

"Well, I'm a tad drunk—just a smidge though—and I have a splintering headache. I'm also starving; mad-raving hunger running about in my stomach", the woman said, "Do you know where I might find some food? I'd go hunting myself, but I don't really think a tree would make a good breakfast."

Donny slowly sat Natalie down on the leafy ground. She sat there, looking like a baby, the posture, the expression, and the mindset of a baby. "I'm going to go get you a cup of coffee and some bread."

"…'And two hard boiled eggs'…" Natalie said, her left arm behind her, supporting her, with her legs out, spread apart.

"Sure", Donny said, glancing at her before walking away.

Natalie sighed and shook her head. She wasn't drunk, just a bit buzzed though, but not enough that would warrant this behavior. She was only acting like this to further prove that Raine and her had passed out, drinking wine. It would also give her the chance to eavesdrop on the Basterds.

She heard some movement from the tent diagonal from her. She laid down on the ground and started singing the Anvil Chorus from the opera "Il Trovatore", in her operatic voice. At the part where the anvils join in, Natalie tapped out the part on her thighs, while still singing.

She heard footsteps next to her and felt a presence above her. She looked up, blinded momentary by the sun. "Vhat is that you singing?"

Natalie covered her eyes with the back of her hand. The glare was gone and she saw Hugo Stiglitz. "What's your face; never thought I'd hear you speak. And it's the Italian opera "Il Trovatore"."

"Vhy are you on the ground?"

"Ah, my second honest serving man. I'm drunk, hungry, and have a god-awful headache, so the usual."

"You need food?"

"Donny should be returning with some coffee and bread any moment now." And at that instant, Donny came walking behind Stiglitz with a cup, some pieces of bread and "meat". "Thanks", Natalie said to Donny, as she sat up, taking the coffee. She drank some before spitting it out, forcefully, startling Stiglitz and Donny. "This coffee sucks more than Christine Bacon!" she spat out, wiping the remaining coffee off her mouth. "Are you English or somethin'?" Natalie stuck a piece of bread in her mouth and brusquely tore a piece off.

"I don't believe so."

"'Course not, you're from Italian descent, how drunk am I?" Natalie looked behind her at an imaginary figure.

Raine emerged from his tent, putting the last black suspender over a white button up, the sleeves rolled to his elbows. "Where are the men, Donowitz?"

"About to go in formation, sir", Donny said slowly.

"Damn right."

Donny yelled and shouted for the men to get in formation, Stiglitz getting into formation, Raine waiting for his men to get in formation, and Natalie, in the background, passed out on the ground, her arms sprayed open and her mouth open, a few feet away from the formation. "Alright, men, we're moving. Going to a place called La_aaa_vone", he told the men once they had lined up, at attention. Raine has said the beginning of the town too long, "which is crawling with fucking Nazis. Outside of the town is a POW factory that builds tanks, cars, weapons, and aircraft. This little lady", he points to Natalie, still passed out with her tank top riding up, baring her flat stomach; the men glance at her, a few of them having a look of skepticism, embarrassment, and contempt, "will lead the assault on the town and factory, ending with the factory going down in flames. We'll then take the POWs to the village of **Mimi**eux, on the coast of France, by trucks. Sound good?"

"Yes sir!"

"Just imagine it boys", Raine started to walk down the line of men; "We'll be one step closer to victory, to justice!" Raine stopped at the end of the line—at Utivich—and said, "Truthfully speaking, I want this war to be over."

And at that moment, Natalie stood up, Chaplin-esque style, and said, in a clear, dignified voice, that showed no sign of her drunkenness, "'Sir, I say that justice is truth in action'", she started to walk around, her hand near her chin, like she had a pipe in her mouth, "Gentlemen, not only will we be one step closer to victory, but one step nearer to the end of this horrible war not for us, but for our children and our children's children!" Natalie stopped walking and rubbed the line of her jaw. "You see, it is my job, my whole family's job, to keep the peace around the world, sorta like police officers. It just so happens that we're on the Allied side. And our aim? As Churchill said, it can be answer in one word, victory. 'Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.'" She started walking again, "And, yes, gentlemen—boys—girls—, we do have to be in this town of Lavone in six days, but, before you protest, 'One always has time enough, if one will apply it well'". Natalie breathed through her nose and gazed past the formation of men, and then said, "I'm going to go make some coffee that doesn't taste like shit", she glanced at Donny.

"That coffee is fine!" Donny yelled at Natalie.

"No! That coffee should be banned by the Geneva convention!"


End file.
